MD and Chef Team - The Show!

The Power of Choice!

April 23, 2022 Dr. Isabel MD & Culinary Nutrition Expert Chef Michael Season 3 Episode 9
MD and Chef Team - The Show!
The Power of Choice!
Show Notes Transcript

✨ In this episode of the MD and Chef Team Show, Dr. Isabel MD and Kimberly Spencer chat about how you are worthy of your spotlight. 

Now, stand out + sparkle. ✨ ✨ ✨ 

Too long have you been exhausted from trying to prove yourself. Too long have you felt like you're never enough. Too long have you wasted time pleasing people in your life and in your business who don't have your highest magnificence at heart. 

Too long have you wasted time on activities that get you no where. Too long have you agonized over being perfect. Too long have you procrastinated on taking your business to the next level.


IT'S TIME TO STEP UP TO THE THRONE OF YOUR KINGDOM.

Here's Kimberly's secret: you choose to rule. Change is a choice. I'll show you how to stop self-sabotaging, so you can create the body, business, and have the relationships of your dreams.


CHOOSE TO HAVE IT ALL. BECAUSE YOU CAN.

✨ Let's get you the clarity, energy, courage, productivity, and influence you need to take your reign to the next level.


➥ ✨ Kimberly Spencer✨  is an award-winning high-performance, trauma-informed coach and trainer, Amazon best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and the founder of CrownYourself.com, helping visionary leaders transform their self-limiting stories,  build their empire, stand out fearlessly, and make the income and the impact they deserve.

From her entrepreneurial beginnings at five selling bags of glitter-water to her neighbors, to becoming an award-winning screenwriter, certified Pilates instructor, Miss Congeniality, and six-time WEGO Health Activist Award nominee, Kimberly is proof that it's better to make your own mold than to conform to someone else's. 

She's also the former executive of a national e-commerce startup and was the owner of the private Pilates studio, Fitness with Kim in Los Angeles, CA. Her work has been featured on Netflix, The CW, ESPN, Chicken Soup for the Soul, and NPR, and in Thrive Global, CNBC, and Forbes.


⏬   Download and Listen to the Full Story! 

➥  Where listeners can find
Kimberly Spencer info and website -
https://crownyourself.com/

➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ ➖ 

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Speaker 0 (0s): Coming up on this episode of the MD and chef team show 

Speaker 1 (8s): That's in my career. I'd always been very audacious, very courageous with what I wanted. I always went for it. And suddenly all of these fears that I thought I dealt with in other areas were being brought to light by quote unquote professional men who were older, more experienced, wealthier than I was as a 28 year olds, you know, up a president, president of a startup. And I suddenly got so nervous and so beaten down by that experience, that once I was bought out of that company, I was went off on my honeymoon. 

We literally side the bio degree with three weeks before I got married. And I went off on my honeymoon with my husband and I was like, 

Speaker 0 (51s): Well, it's going to the show from I'm Dr. Isabel medical doctor here at the MD and chef team. And who are you? 

Speaker 2 (1m 0s): Chef? Michael Coleman nutrition experts. I'm the chef at the kids. 

Speaker 0 (1m 4s): And what are we going to talk about bed now? I can say that cause he's my husband. 

Speaker 2 (1m 8s): Yeah, we'll be talking about marriage relationship parenting. <inaudible> talk about my, that success. Overcoming depression, anxiety. I'll be getting into functional nutrition, recipes and tips from the kitchen. And we're going to both get into how to live a long, healthy, vibrant life. 

Speaker 0 (1m 27s): Yes. I love it. Our mission is to help you prevent and reverse disease and give you open the process. Oh yeah. We might have to have some, let us get 

Speaker 2 (1m 39s): On with the show. 

Speaker 0 (1m 44s): Hello Kimberly. 

Speaker 1 (1m 46s): Hi Isabelle. It's so great to see you again and to greet someone from down under. 

Speaker 0 (1m 52s): Yeah. And you were down under too, you know, the last time I talked to you, you were, you know, you had your little baby on your chest and I was in my workout clothes and you were in your mommy clothes and now we get to do this. 

Speaker 1 (2m 8s): Yes. Now we're all fancy. And looking like the Queens that we are and you know, I, I just, I always incorporate my kids into my business. They have been such a huge spark. And for me, like I do my best to show up as professional as possible. But sometimes there are times where I have a baby asleep on me and I will do my best to pass it off. But sometimes if it's a pre-meeting, I'm more than happy to take it with someone who is also a mom who also understands that, you know, we, we moms do what we gotta do. 

Speaker 0 (2m 43s): And do you realize like, my mom is 97 years, young living independently in Washington, DC, believe it or not. I know I'm still balancing her checkbook for those of you who know what a checkbook is to the penny. And I'm just like, mom, you are rocking it. So we, as moms are like showing our kids. 

Speaker 1 (3m 3s): Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it is ever since my son was born, I have always said that I am a warrior for possibility because I just, he was, when I was pregnant with him, we had a doctor that we call doctor always wrong. And he kept on like saying, oh, well you have placenta previa. I don't know if you're gonna be able to give birth naturally or, you know, oh, it's looking like your baby's going to be a 10 and a half pound baby, are you sure you want to give birth natural? I was like, yeah. So basically like proved him wrong consecutively. 

And then when my son came out, I was like, dude, we've been proving doctors wrong for life is so since before you were born. So I just don't ascribe to 

Speaker 0 (3m 47s): The negative, 

Speaker 1 (3m 48s): The negative. I just, I don't subscribe to it. I opt out, hit the unsubscribe button. Nope. The negative. I am not available for I'm available for solutions. I'm not, you know, I'm not gonna stick my head in the sand, like an ostrich and pretend like it doesn't exist. But I am going to say that like, okay, when you experience something negative, that's when you have that opportunity to say, okay, now what can I do with this? Now? Here's what the current present reality is. How do we shift this? How do we find a new solution? How does this allow us to innovate? 

How does this allow us to heal something within ourselves? And then move from that space? Negative is only a data point. It's not something that necessarily needs to be dwelled on. And if you dwell on it, that's a choice 

Speaker 0 (4m 29s): And you'll get stuck. And I really loved that, that idea. And I love the fact that, you know, we, as women have to have plan a, B and C, I mean, just be able to pivot and it's okay. You're not going to freak out if some, if one thing doesn't work, it's, it's all here and being the boss of our brains. Yeah. And 

Speaker 1 (4m 53s): It's oh, no, it's that Australian wifi connections 

Speaker 0 (4m 59s): Now, you know, I'm in New Zealand. 

Speaker 1 (5m 1s): I was down under where I was like, ah, they got it. They got about 20 years of catch up on the tech parts in some areas to do on in, in others. They're like way ahead of leaps and bounds technologically wise. But yeah, it was such a great experience living down there. It was literally living the vision and the dream. And what better time to do with it in a pandemic? I mean, come on. 

Speaker 0 (5m 24s): I know, Hey, listen, before we jump into there, you know, the listeners are listening, so I'm going to go ahead and introduce you. Is that okay? 

Speaker 1 (5m 32s): Yeah. Go for it. 

Speaker 0 (5m 33s): Okay. And just so you remember, I'm a New Zealand. 

Speaker 1 (5m 38s): Yes. Okay. New Zealand, Kiwi, not an Aussie. I was in the gold coast. We were hoping to get over to New Zealand, but it just wasn't, wasn't in the cards, this trip and that's okay. 

Speaker 0 (5m 50s): Yeah. All right, here we go. Kimberly Spencer is a born and raised a valley girl. Now, for those of, you know, what a valley girl is, that's a girl from California in America and she's powered by green 

Speaker 1 (6m 3s): Potassium 

Speaker 0 (6m 6s): Powered 

Speaker 1 (6m 6s): By the Kardashians or fro 

Speaker 0 (6m 9s): Powered by green juice, Italian espresso and gallons of glitter. And her husband calls her the honeybee because she buzzes around a lot. She is proud to have helped. Hundreds of leaders build their empire breakthrough, their body barriers, revolutionize their relationships and rewrite their stories of self-sabotage into a story of success in all areas of their life. I love it. Would you, would you like to share a little, a lot about your story, whatever you want to share, because it's an amazing, huge story. 

Speaker 1 (6m 43s): Thank you. Yeah. I don't believe that success needs to be either linear because in every experience having coached leaders for five years now, I have not seen one. Like here's my perfect plan of how everything is going to go. It's not linear and it's not. And it, it, it does come with so many surprises and it's also, I don't believe that your success in the way that I define success, which I believe should be completely different or, you know, however you choose to define success. 

My definition of success is not my success in my career or my business coming at the sake of my family or my health, because I had that when I had an e-commerce business for a while, that was basically the catalyst. When I went through a buyout, that was the catalyst for me, going into creating crown yourself and that business. I was burning myself out. I was waking up at 3:00 AM in the morning, like panicked to respond to a customer email. I was having such anxiety. 

My hair was falling out, I'd gained weight. And after I went through the buyout process was, which was his own stressors in, in and of itself because I'd never dealt with lawyers in a professional atmosphere and having all the beliefs that I thought I'd dealt with as a child. And through like my early adulthood years of like the, not enough being, you know, too much, that's, that's all ego. It's like that pendulum swings you're either not enough or you're way too much and, or being too feminine, too girly, too sparkly, too young, too, you know, inexperienced too, you know, lacking too little degrees to view, to do new, too much education to view. 

So I I've going through that buyout experience was the first time that I'd ever had any of those fears or beliefs that I dealt with in my body. And I dealt with in my relationships and I figured them out for my body. And I'd healed myself from 10 years of the battle with bulemia with no psychological or medical intervention. I figured it out with my relationships. I healed my, I healed and got away from abusive, very troublesome relationships and found the, the amazing man of my dream on another chef and, and 

Speaker 0 (8m 55s): Manolo, his name 

Speaker 1 (8m 57s): Is spike Minolos are the shoes that I wear NOLA is, are the shoes that I love, but the, but that cycle I'd never experienced it in my business and my career. I'd always been very audacious, very courageous with what I wanted. I always went for it. And suddenly all of these fears that I thought I dealt with in other areas were being brought to light by quote unquote professional men who were older, more experienced, wealthier than I was as a 28 year olds, you know, startup president, president of a startup. 

And I suddenly got so nervous and so beaten down by that experience, that once I was bought out of that company, I was went off on my honeymoon. We literally side the bio degree with three weeks before I got married. And I went off on my honeymoon with my husband and I was like, 

Speaker 0 (9m 53s): What do I do 

Speaker 1 (9m 54s): When I get back? And as you know, appropriate on a honeymoon for six weeks in Italy, we had some time to brainstorm among other things. And, 

Speaker 0 (10m 5s): And you just wait one second, the sun is beaming it. I'm just going to go just one second. Don't go away. Yeah. That way, that way I can see you because it's just a few moments. I'm going to have the sun in my face. 

I'm going to be like, where are you at 

Speaker 1 (10m 38s): In case I burned down there. So you'll be completely baking. 

Speaker 0 (10m 41s): It's autumn. It's, we're getting going into autumn. But anyway, you're in Italy, you're brainstorming and doing the wild thing and enjoying life 

Speaker 1 (10m 50s): And way too many espressos. And my husband and I were looking at all of the past careers that I'd had. I'd been a Pilates instructor. I'd had a Pilates brick and mortar business for, for several years. I was applauded freelance instructor for over 12 years, which is what got me into my e-commerce business. I'd had the e-commerce business. So we'd grown and we've gotten our product featured on times square. We, I got to pitch it to the first round of shark tank auditions, like, oh, I thought that that was going somewhere. And then I'd had the other pieces of my life screenwriting, you know, having a script produced and distributed by lion's gate and on Netflix and like all of these different pieces of things that I enjoyed, but I didn't quite know how to combine them into one holistic picture. 

And I wasn't 

Speaker 0 (11m 33s): Happy with 

Speaker 1 (11m 36s): The work for me. Yeah. Because like every other, every piece of it, like I loved having an e-commerce business, but I didn't love certain parts of it. Like I didn't, and I couldn't really peg my finger on what it was that I didn't love about it, but now I know it was cause my partner and I were very misaligned on, on values, not his were bad or mine were bad or his were good and mine were good. It was just, there were, it was just a relational alignment misalignment. And that's, that's what I work with many of my clients with now, and like looking at their, their core customer, their core values for their company. 

And it's, so it served me really well. I just, back then I had no, I was floundering without law with complete lack of clarity. And so I had way too many expresses and I leaped off the couch and I said, crown yourself. And my husband's like, what's that? And I said, that's the name of my company? And he's like, well, what do you do? And I said, I don't know. I said, I think it's like a, a blog, maybe something like Marie Forleo, mainly maybe like an online course or something. I just had no clarity, but I immediately went into action for a year and a half doing what I lovingly call productive procrastination, which is where you work on all the parts of the business, the lovely things like a logo design and a website design and getting a YouTube channel and posting on social media. 

But for a year and a half, I made no money because I was focusing on productive procrastination. And wasn't actually focusing on driving what drives a business, which is revenue and, and customer impact. And I believe, and I tell all my clients now who I work with when they're in entrepreneurs is people only value so much what they get for free. Like you we've all heard. It said like the, having the freemium things are great. You know, the premium freemium front of the front of the funnel, things like podcasts and things where people get to consume, they get to impact, it gets a feel your value, but then there's all that there were all those other pieces that I was giving away or wasn't charging, or wasn't even valuing with in myself that I couldn't see until I found out that I was pregnant. 

And then when I found out I was pregnant, that changed everything for me, because I knew that the person that I had become over that year and a half of doing tons of things, always being busy. My husband had a joke for those years that I couldn't literally get through a Netflix show within 15 minutes, I would have my laptop open. I don't know what I was doing. Like, because now I'm able to sit, watch episode or so of TV have a glass of wine. My computer is off and the business is doing far better than it ever was with me working at that pace. 

But it was only because I was confusing. Busy-ness with purpose. 

Speaker 0 (14m 23s): Absolutely. I hear that. I so get that. Yeah. And like, if we're busy, if we're busy where it's sexy to be busy, but really are you being productive? People always say to me, are you sick? Are you busy? And I go, you know what, no I'm being productive. And they're like, why? So you have to explain that whole, 

Speaker 1 (14m 41s): Yeah, it's, it's a massive paradigm shift because our, our society really values busy-ness. And so many people are busy, but they're lacking purpose. They're lacking intention. Now, Letty, they're lacking that underlying meaning of like, what is it that I'm so busy doing? And that's how you get people in a, in a career for 10, 20 years and suddenly their, you know, midlife crisis suddenly they're like, they don't want to be in that business. They realize they've built their own prison and I've never, ever wanted to put myself in that role. 

And when I realized that after a year and a half, I had, I knew I had to escape my own dungeon of doubt and start believing in myself and essentially crowned myself to be the leader, the, and the female example for my son 

Speaker 0 (15m 31s): And start charging for your services. 

Speaker 1 (15m 33s): Amen. 

Speaker 0 (15m 34s): 'cause that's what happened with the pregnancy with you, right? You were like, I have something valuable inside of me. People need to invest in themselves because I can help them. I so get that. And this is it about people. They just have such a, such a hard time investing in themselves. 

Speaker 1 (15m 54s): I think it's, I think it's a two-fold streak. You know, there there's a lot of new entrepreneurs who come onto the scene, who has they themselves have trouble charging for their products and services. And I noticed, I didn't say charging for what you're worth, because I'm like, you are not a hooker. You are, you are priceless. There is no price that you can be bought for ideally, but your products and services, the knowledge that you have acquired, the skillset that you have built over the years of lifetime, the different fields that you've been in, the education that you've received from the school of life or actual schools or certifications or whatnot that has a price tag attached to it. 

When you package it up into a process that is something that you can sell. And that is something that is worth. If you, if what you sell, then if you sell that process and then that process delivers results. Like my clients make heaps more, more than they've invested in you. I had one of my clients, he joked with me. He said, if I'm able to buy my plane after this year, working with you, I will know that this investment was worth it. And after I said, great challenge accepted within a year, he became the number one business in his industry, in the UK and bought his plane and fulfilled that childhood dream. 

And that was more fulfilling for me was that he got to it wasn't about the plane. It was about the fact that he got to fulfill a childhood dream. Like my client, one of my clients was able to find her life purpose really shifted her business to actually working in another one of my client's businesses. And then she reconnected with her as strange children and her a strange children's started to one of her children started to work with her. And so she started to redevelop that bond. That was more important to me than anything like, so, so the value that you can get from investing in yourself as priceless, but that is if you have a proven process that actually produces results. 

And if you don't have a proven process, then test it out for a low price, see what could work, play with it. Don't stay in the playing and research phase too long. And then, but the research comes from actually doing it. I did not use to charge what I charge now for coaching. Like I started out just charging. I would charge $2,000 for eight sessions. Now it's very different, but that was my, that was a space in which I would start. And you have to have a starting point and it's it's from that space. 

So that's one piece of the puzzle. And then the other spaces, the fear of people investing in themselves. Well, I think this concept of investing in ourselves, especially as women is something that is just, hasn't been done as a S as growing up in a predominantly patriarchal society. Like we, as women have only been able to make money for the past hundred and 50 years, maybe. So the, the concept of actually us being worthy of investing in is a very novel concept that we, as the generations that are alive on this planet right now need to be redefining for the future. 

Speaker 0 (19m 9s): I agree with your, I agree with you. Women need to learn to invest in themselves because all we do, all we know is to give, give, give, give, give, and if we're not giving, then we're being selfish. If we're, if we're taking, I wanted to ask you, you said, here are the stories we tell ourselves are the most profound and usually not true. What, like, like you said, here in my story, you were saying you were never enough. Can you talk to us about how you started to change the story you said to yourself? 

Like, yeah, perfect enough. You're not smart enough. 

Speaker 1 (19m 43s): Yeah. So I grew up in, in a home with an addict. My dad was an addict and my mom was a codependent. And being in that environment, I saw my dad was very high functioning addict. Like I saw him over 30 years, go from nothing and, and broke to building a million dollar business, a million dollar a year business. But that being said, it was still the, the addiction was an issue. And I always thought, well, maybe if I was perfect enough, maybe if I was skinny enough, maybe if I got good enough grades, maybe I, and so that, that, that programming was very much built in as a child. 

And then because of different abuses that I went through as a child, because of my dad's alcoholism specifically, it wasn't the other, the other addictions that he had were never an issue. But when he was with on alcohol, he was incredibly abusive. And it was when that, those, that programming from that those experiences growing up that really made me buy into this mentality that I was broken, that I was damaged, that I was a victim, and that would never be enough. 

And that was a mindset that I took into my relationship with my body for 10 years with bulemia. I believed that I was broken. I believe that I was, I deserve to be punished that I deserve to like hurt my body. I had all these beliefs and stories, and I thought that they were true because they were defining my identity of who I was at the time. And it wasn't until I removed myself from the environment of my parents' home and started actually teaching Pilates and doing what I loved, which was back then pursuing a career in entertainment signup simultaneously that I was able to see how these stories, that I was telling myself that some of them were chosen because I, I started exposing myself as a Pilates instructor. 

I was teaching 10 hours a day, five days a week when six hours on a Saturday. So I was exposing myself to at least 50 different belief systems on a regular basis. That's why I so encouraged people to listen to podcast, to hear different interviews, to just shake the frame of the perspectives of what you believe is possible. And what I saw was I had, because I was being exposed to all these different belief systems and all these different realities or perceptions of realities, I saw that, wow, what is that person doing? 

It allowed me to get curious of like, I like how that person has a wonderful, amazing, happy, fulfilling marriage. And she's doing great in her, like family, super wealthy. Like, I want to know what she's doing. And like, I had another client who I thought she would always come in super happy. She was a lawyer at one of the top law firms in the world. And she, she would always walk in at nine o'clock like pregnant. She had two kids and I was like, whatever you're doing, I wanna know what you're doing. And, and she said, and I thought, you know, have you always had a perfect life? 

Have you always? And she shared her story with me once. And I was like shocked because it was like, it was the same reality that I grew up with. But her belief system was so different than where mine was. And I thought, well, if, if that, if she believes something different, then maybe I could believe something different too. Because so often we're conditioned to believe the identities and the beliefs that we grew up with. My dad, I love him. I miss him. He, he just recently died last year. He also had a belief that he was broken, damaged and, and would never be enough. 

And that's where his addictions stemmed from. And those beliefs I adopted and I inherited, but it does just because you inherited it doesn't mean you have to keep it. And when I shifted my belief system over time, it took a couple of years, but I started questioning my habits, my thoughts, the reactionary trigger feelings. I started allowing myself to look at those shadowy parts of myself that, that it's not a fun conversation. 

Initially, the ownership conversation, 

Speaker 0 (23m 45s): You have to be very bold and courageous to do that hard work that is deep hard work. 

Speaker 1 (23m 53s): It 

Speaker 0 (23m 53s): Is. I applaud you for doing that work. 

Speaker 1 (23m 56s): Thank you. I appreciate it. And yeah, anybody who's on that journey of, of findings, of, of creating and re building that relationship with yourself and learning how to love yourself and find that self-worth, that is one of the most valuable and challenging journeys that you are ever to go on. And it will be the, it will be so rewarding when you realize that, like, when you come, like it is just a game changer. And when I realized that everything in my life, every experience that I had, every everything I went through was happening for me, instead of, to me, that perspective changed everything. 

Because when I saw that, because I was able to assess human behavior, because as children of addicts and alcoholics are able to, just from a survival standpoint, we're able to look and like, see very quickly what somebody's behavior 

Speaker 0 (24m 52s): Is. You got antennas, 

Speaker 1 (24m 54s): It's like a spidey sense like you. And cause you know that in certain situations you may have to adapt your behavior to survive. Well, I learned, and not that I ever felt like my life was threatened as a child, but, but that's how you adapt in order to survive against those fear-based feelings. And so that skill set served me so well as a Pilates instructor, it served me in sales and my e-commerce company. It served me now as a coach because I'm able to see like, oh my gosh, my client is just about to be on the verge of a breakthrough. 

And it's intuitive. It's so intuitive because it's something I grew up with that I was trained with. And I would never have that training. Had it not been for the experiences that I had as a child. And so I am so grateful for my upbringing. I'm so grateful for every bit of it because it trained me in ways that that standardized education could never prepare me for the, the school of experience and hard knocks. Every time I ask any one of my clients, how, where have you learned the most? 

They always say experience. And it comes down from that experience of looking at, looking at things through the lens. And this is my favorite quiet question to ask any of my clients, no matter what their experience is. And it's a hard one to digest, especially if you're in the midst of some traumas, but how is this the best thing that could've ever happened to you? 

Speaker 0 (26m 20s): Great question. 

Speaker 1 (26m 21s): Great. And when you look at that things, from that perspective, it shifts radically. Like because of certain experiences I grew up with as a child, I've been able to literally save lives. I was able to notice somebody from across a room in 2000 people help him have a breakthrough to admit his own experiences with sexual abuse. I didn't realize that that night he was planning to kill himself. And he says, now three years later, he's like, Kim, you saved my life. 

Like, I don't think you realize that that moment that was transformative. Had I not had my spidey senses that I got because of my growing up, I wouldn't have been able to do that. I wouldn't have been able to have that. And so it's a blessing what I went through and being able to look at everything from that perspective. So when you S and it's, it takes a while, because so often initially our initial responses like screw you. I, this is like the worst thing that ever happened. 

I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to look at this, but when you actually allow that inner child to be seen, that that hurt part of you to be seen and say, yes, I understand that what you went through sucked that does not just because you were a victim of an abuse and experience that was unjust, not fair. You didn't deserve it doesn't mean that you have to have a victim mindset. And when I freed myself from having that victim mindset and started taking radical ownership of everything in my life, it changed the game and it changed for how I showed up as a parent. 

It changed the game for how I showed up as a wife, with my husband. It changed how I showed up for my business. 

Speaker 0 (28m 9s): Yeah. It doesn't change your future generations. Thank you for sharing that. I, I, I get you girl allowed and clear now, before we land this plane, cause everybody's, you know, flying in first class here, can you tell our listeners, can you share with our listeners three action steps that they could take so that they can start winning right away? I mean, I could say one right away from what you just said is 

Speaker 1 (28m 37s): What would you say? I'm curious 

Speaker 0 (28m 39s): What, you know, don't look at something that's happened to you think something has happened for you, you know, how can you make this a positive because that's the sign of, of a successful person creating their brand new story. 

Speaker 1 (28m 53s): Yeah. You get to create your own reality when you switch, shift that perspective. So first I would say, actually, look, just be the gentle observer of everything, the observer of your thoughts, the observer of your feelings, the observer of your triggers allow yourself throughout the day to be almost put on the anthropologist hat and anthropologist. Isn't looking at a society or a person through the lens of judgment. And so often when we are looking like we can have that lens of shame or guilt or anger or fear cloud, the actual experience like, oh, I shouldn't be thinking this, or, oh, I know better. 

Well, you are in a learning process. So it is a process. So allow yourself to have the grace to say, Hmm, I wonder what I wonder what triggered that. I wonder that that's an interesting response. That's always my favorite responses. Huh? That's interesting. That's interesting why I'm so like, feel so emotional toward that person, or that's interesting why I'm feeling jealousy or that's, that's interesting why I'm suddenly thinking that I can't do it or that that's interesting. Why like, anytime that's interesting why, you know, this debt collector like shows up at my door. 

Like that's interesting. That's interesting that this happened. Oh, that's interesting that my bank account is, you know, overdrafting, like whatever it is that just like, huh. That's interesting. What triggered that because when you're looking at it, instead of looking at it from the reactive perspective, you're able to look at it and in hindsight, and hindsight's not 2020 hindsight, it's like way clearer. But if you look at hindsight with, through the lens of judgment and shame, it's going to cloud the perspective. 

Versus if you look at it through the perspective of, huh, that's interesting. What led to that? Like what, what were the pieces that led to that experience? Oh, it was cause I was feeling emotional. Oh, it was cause I was feeling like I was, I wasn't feeling heard in my own story. Oh it's because I'm not feeling seen in my own relationship. Oh, it's because I forgot to pay that bill. Oh, it's because I wasn't being diligent with my finances. So it's low being able to look at it from a place of, oh well what's well, what if I what's that thing that I can learn from it then looking at how is that for you? 

Well, if you know, you've overdrafted on your account, how has that for you? Well, it teaches you diligence to be responsible with your money. Maybe that means setting up a weekly thing where you get to look at your bank account and have a relationship with what's going on with your money. Like money is just a form of energy. Maybe it's oh, I gained five pounds. What, what, that's interesting. What caused that? Oh, it was probably because I was a little PMSC. I was having some more, you know, ice cream than normal and oh, okay. 

I might want to go to the gym. Okay, great. Awesome. So how did this happen for you? It gave you what habit could it help you develop? What skillset could it help you develop? Could it help you become more responsible, more courageous, more in integrity with what you preach more, more aligned, more purposeful, more intentional. Like all of these are qualities of who you're creating yourself to be and the new story that you're crafting for yourself. So what is, and so once you look at that's interesting, get curious of how is this happening for you then look at who is this creating you to be? 

If that lesson is for you? If that thing is for you, like for me, my experience as a child, I looked at them as being first for me being of service, me, being able to share my story, to be of service, to hopefully eliminate, you know, some pieces so that people won't feel so ashamed of, of experiences that they've been through as a, as a kid, hopefully to inspire them, to give them perspective. Like, I look at that as being for me so that I could be of service. 

I also look at it of being for me so I could be courageous. It takes a lot of guts to stand up in front of a Ted talk and, you know, elude to, I didn't stay, stayed out flat out, but allude to being molested as a child, like that takes a lot of guts and it made me be courageous and being able to look at how, who is this creating me to be? Is that something that I want to become, do I want to become more courageous, more responsible, more decisive. These are all qualities of incredibly successful people. 

So if we can cultivate those qualities of being are when we focus on changing our identity rather than our habits, that's how, that's how we change everything 

Speaker 0 (33m 26s): Perfectly. I love it. Thank you so much. 

Speaker 1 (33m 28s): You are so welcome. 

Speaker 0 (33m 30s): That's so number one is say, Ooh, that's interesting. Number two is be curious. And three is, how is this for you? 

Speaker 1 (33m 38s): Yeah. Well, two is, how is this for you? And three is who is, who is that creating you to be? 

Speaker 0 (33m 43s): Okay, good. I love that. Who is that creating you to be? And then how can people get in contact with you? 

Speaker 1 (33m 52s): If you liked what I had to say, then just head on over to crown yourself.com and click the button that says work with me. And I would love to have a conversation one-on-one with you. 

Speaker 0 (34m 1s): I love it. And that will be in the show notes. I promise. 

Speaker 1 (34m 4s): Perfect. 

Speaker 0 (34m 5s): Thank you so much, Kimberly. Thanks for being so real. 

Speaker 1 (34m 9s): You know, of course 

Speaker 0 (34m 10s): I love that. And thanks for being so brave. 

Speaker 1 (34m 13s): Thank you so much. Thank you for being so brave and, and doing what you do. Well, 

Speaker 0 (34m 18s): We'll talk about that in just a little bit. I would definitely like to have you back. Cause there's not like I had a lot of other questions I wanted to ask, but I'm very respectful of people's time. Cause you know, I think about a half an hour is about tip top for people to listen, you know? 

Speaker 1 (34m 36s): Yeah. It depends. People tend to Joe Rogan's podcast for three hours, so we could just keep going and just test the waters 

Speaker 0 (34m 42s): Really. I've never, ever done that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, anyhow. All right. Well thank you so much for your time. Thank you. And thank you everyone for joining us here at the MD and chef team. You know what? I love that you're here. I love that you're listening. Let me know how this is helping you send us a message. Let us know. We want to know how this has served you. And before we go, please always know to remain unstoppable and just chase down that you liked, that you want to be. 

You know, I always say you've got a canvas that you wake up with every morning. You've got the paintbrush. How are you going to paint your life? You've just gotten some great advice from Kimberly on how you are in control of that. She's just giving you three take away action steps to help you begin doing that. My hope that you will incorporate that into your life. Okay. All right. That's it for me. And that's it from camera. Thank you for your time. 

Speaker 5 (35m 48s): Thank you so much for having me. 

Speaker 6 (35m 56s): Hello, chef Michael here. If you enjoy today's episode, we would love it. If you subscribe to the podcast and left us a review.