MD and Chef Team - The Show!

π“π‘πž "ππŽπ–π„π‘" 𝐨𝐟 π‚π‘πšπ§π π’π§π  πƒπ’π«πžπœπ­π’π¨π§π¬!

April 28, 2021 Dr. Isabel MD & Culinary Nutrition Expert Chef Michael Season 2 Episode 11
MD and Chef Team - The Show!
π“π‘πž "ππŽπ–π„π‘" 𝐨𝐟 π‚π‘πšπ§π π’π§π  πƒπ’π«πžπœπ­π’π¨π§π¬!
Show Notes Transcript

πšƒπšŠπš›πšŠ 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚜; "π™΄πšŸπšŽπš›πš’πš˜πš—πšŽ πš πšŠπš—πšπšœ 𝚝𝚘 πšπš˜πš•πš•πš˜πš  πšπš‘πšŽπš’πš› πšπš›πšŽπšŠπš–πšœ, πš‹πšžπš πš–πšŠπš—πš’ πšŠπš›πšŽ πš”πšŽπš™πš πš‹πšŠπšŒπš” πš‹πš’ πšπšŽπšŠπš› 𝚘𝚏 πšπš‘πšŽ πšžπš—πš”πš—πš˜πš πš—." 🎯

βœ…Β  After being burnt out and run over by the world around her, Tara left California behind along with a multi-million dollar restaurant company and everyone she knew. She moved with her husband and kids to North Carolina, where they are blazing a new life centered around helping people find purpose, passion and live holistically in a modern world.Β 

βœ…Β  Leaving a successful business for the unknown is the hardest and best thing she's ever done. And loves to help others pursue the stirring in their heart that is calling them elsewhere.

βœ…Β  π‘·π’π’–π’ˆ π’Šπ’, π‘«π’π’˜π’π’π’π’‚π’… 𝒂𝒏𝒅 π‘³π’Šπ’”π’•π’†π’ 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑼𝒑𝒔, π‘«π’π’˜π’π’”, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 π‘»π’“π’Šπ’‚π’π’” 𝒐𝒇 "π‘ͺπ’‰π’‚π’π’ˆπ’Šπ’π’ˆ π‘«π’Šπ’“π’†π’„π’•π’Šπ’π’π’”" π’Šπ’ π‘³π’Šπ’‡π’†, (𝒂𝒕 π’‚π’π’š π’‚π’ˆπ’†)

πŸ‘‰Β  Β  For those of you who want to continue following Tara, you can find her Bed and Breakfast , Cedar and Cement - Holistic Living in a Modern World, atΒ
and then her marketing/business website isΒ

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Isabel:  Welcome, everybody. I'm Dr. Isabel and you're at the MD and Chef Team podcast. And I'll be interviewing Tara Lindstrom. Hello, Tara.

Tara:  Hello.

Isabel:  So excited and blessed that you are here with us. Thank you.

Tara:  I'm so happy to finally coordinate the time zones and figure things out across the globe.

Isabel:  New Zealand, America, New Zealand, Americaβ€”you know how crazy it is. I'd like to share with everybody a little bit about Tara. Everyone wants to follow their dreams, but many are kept back by fear of the unknown. Oh, yeah. After being burnt out and run over by the world around her, she left California behind along with a multi-million dollar restaurant company and everyone she knew. She moved with her husband and kids to North Carolina, where they are blazing a new life centered around helping people find purpose, passion and live holistically in a modern world. 

Leaving a successful business for the unknown is the hardest and best thing she's ever done. And loves to help others pursue the stirring in their heart that is calling them elsewhere. I love it. 

So Tara, I'd love for you to go ahead and share with us a lot of your story because we got time, and stories are so important. So why don't you begin with California and moving forward with that? Is that all right?

Tara:  Sure, absolutely. Um, so I grew up in California. Been there my whole life, I've lived all over the state. My husband and I got in our family business when we were just married in our young 20s. I said I would never get in the family business, I would never get in the restaurant business because I saw what it did to my parents and my family. But you know, lo and behold, God just kind of lined everything up and it was the right thing at the time. 

And so we just dove in full force, you know, to a pretty successful business but we really took it to the next level. We grew it about three times the size, we added states, we added brands where franchise restaurants. And you know, things were great, like, things were really great. We had our two children, everything's kind of seemed ideal. 

And then, about five years ago, things just started getting rough in the restaurant industry, it started getting rough in California, it started getting rough with my family. You start to see these things in your life that you start to look back and when you see a pattern, I believe God doesn't just like give you a whisper and then run off. He makes it like so clear that if you were to not listen, you would just be literally running the opposite way from him. 

And so first, that led us to say we should sell our house and move out to the country in the Bay Area. And so we did that. We thought that was going to be our forever home on an old vineyard and we were going to put on winery, we had this whole plan. So I'm just here to tell you if you ever think it's a good idea to buy an old vineyard and open a winery and buy an old farmhouse is not.

Isabel:  Thank you. Thank you for that. Even if it's organic too.

Tara:  So we quickly kind of went okay, God like we're here, but we're just still not feeling settled. But gosh, should we just make the biggest mistake of our lives. And so as we got towards early 2020, even prior to COVID, due to some circumstances, we just felt God's saying β€œyou gotta go.” And we just said, well, where the heck are we gonna go? Like, we don't even know where we would go.

So for various stories that I could go on for many hours about, he would just put little signs, like certain people that are like, β€œOh, I'm from North Carolina,” or β€œI'm from outside Raleigh,” or we got off a gate one day flying back from a trip that I turned around to get something that I left on a plane. We were just thinking about it and the gates right there, one said, β€œGoing to Raleigh” and the next one said β€œGoing to Charlotte.” I'm sitting there between them going like, that's not a sign. And then we weren't quite sure and we went out to eat. 

During COVID we drove like over the hill so we could actually eat inside at a restaurant at a different county and got talking to this guy and talking and talking to the owner because as restaurant tours, you're, you're always talking to the restaurant people and he was just so blessed to be open. At the end I was like, β€œWhere are you from?” He's like, β€œOh, I'm from Raleigh.” 

It was just like, okay, God, you know, we had found a school here that we wanted to put our children in. We just went, are we going to move across the country? Like just for our kids? That just seems crazy.

What’s my family gonna say and what is our business gonna do? We couldn't tell anybody. And so my husband looked at me one day, and he goes, you know, almost everybody will take a bullet for their child. Right? They willβ€”

Isabel:  Yes.

Tara:  But he goes, β€œBut will they give up their job and their life and move when they know it's the best thing for their kids’ future?” We felt strongly that it was and so we made that decision. As soon as we made that decision, everything just kind of started falling into place. 

We flew out here once and then we flew out here again and found our house, and then we literally gave my family about eight weeks, six weeks’ notice. We just said, β€œWe don't know what this means for our business, for our family, but we just know that we're supposed to go and we can't fight this anymore.” And so it was really like, and of course, in between all of this was COVID, trying to run 60 restaurants, trying to homeschool, trying to keep things going, trying to deal with county regulations. So if we weren't ready yet, I can tell you that when COVID happened, we put our heads down, and we're like, β€œOkay, this is a sprint and we're gonna get through it.”

Three months later, we came up to try to breathe and we're like, β€œThis is not ending anytime soon.” And we've now burnt ourselves out to beyond the point of, you know, being able to fix this. So we just, we had to go. It was heartbreaking to leave our team. We support them as much as we can and we're still working things out with our family. But ultimately, that will mean selling some of the businesses, selling out of some of the businesses and taking the money, putting it in the bank and going β€œokay, God, what's the next? What's the next steps here?” So…

Isabel:  Gosh, that is so true. Just β€œGod, what do we do?” And sometimes he doesn't answer right away, does he?

Tara:  No. That's been the hardest part. I told my husband when we moved here, I said, I have a feeling God wants us to rest first and so he's not going to make it clear. It's so hard for us Taipei's and planners, and we just literally got in the car drove across the country and didn't even have half of it worked out but we just knew it was the right thing. 

So he's been healing us, working on our hearts, putting people in our lives, inspiring us and helping us understand that it's not about putting a whole bunch of money in the bank and just building up, building up, building up. But it's about what you do with it, how you're generous, and give to others and share.

So we want to get to a place where we feel healthy for us and our family before we try to then turn around and invest in something else or someone else, and take what he's blessed us with in that first part of our marriage and go and figure out what we're gonna do with it. So...

Isabel:  I wanted to say that my husband and I would also take a bullet for our kids. The reason why I totally relate to what you said about moving and doing it for the kids because we moved from America in 2000 to New Zealand. I don't know if you remember the Columbine shootings in Colorado in Denver? Yeah. And that's when I had just given birth to my first child. I was thinking, β€œOh my gosh, this is crazy. We got to move somewhere,” and God led us to New Zealand. 

That was 20 years ago, and our family thought we were crazy because I'm the only one that ever had any children. They thought we'd come back, but we've never come back. God's just so beautiful. It's so gracious and lovely to just help walk you through the journey. 

Tara:  Yeah. Yeah, actually, you know, it's interesting. One of the victims from Columbine goes to school, her kids go to school with my kids. So I've been getting to follow her story and just see that play out in her life here, so very interesting. Her name is Casey, Brett's Berger Johnson but she's got a great story and website to check out.

Isabel:  Do you have that off the top of your head by any chance?

Tara:  Let me find it for you. 

Isabel:  Okay.

Tara:  That's her whole name, Casey.

Isabel:  How do you spell it?

Tara:  K-A-C-E-Y.

Isabel:  K-A-C-E-Y.

Tara:  R-U-E-G.

Isabel: Yep.

Tara:  S-E-G-G-E-R.

Isabel:  Yep.

Tara:  Johnson. She was injured on her arm and just got her mobility back from her shoulder and has some great stories to tell. I haven't gotten to know her personally, but a lot of my mutual friends at school know her and I've connected with her online. So…

Isabel:  Cool. Great. And so are you still involved in the 60 restaurants or you’re slowly peeling away from them?

Tara:  We're peeling away. I have, in fact, been into restaurant consulting. So while we do have ownership, and that's a blessing. After working with our brands for so many years, I've kind of switched roles and offered to help them, which in turn helps my stores as well. But there's not a lot of people that want to work in the food industry anymore and there's not a lot of people that work their way up and understand all that goes into restaurant marketing or restaurant technology or operations. And so my husband and I are kind of starting our own consulting company and helping national brands build their business and be franchisee-friendly.

Isabel:  Great. I love that. Help people get better in what they're doing.

Tara:  Yeah, I love to help people. It's like my favorite thing in the world to do. So my husband says I do too much for free. Eventually it comes back so it’s a blessing. So I just love helping people.

Isabel:  It does come back. Somehow it does come back. I love that.

Now let's see, talk to us about your healthy eating journey. It's evolved from vegetarian to keto to vegan to plant base, and how you brought your kids, and let us know how old your kids are too. How you brought your kids along the journey.

Tara:  Yeah, it's a daily fight in the world that we live in, I tell you, especially while living in North Carolina. But no… So our kids areβ€”our son is 13, almost like a 13 and a half. Our daughter is 10. So Zach has a baby. He would not eat meat. We were just we were eating kind of like your normal American diet at that point. We tried, like, everyone's like, β€œOh, he has to eat meat, he has to eat meat,” and we would put a piece of chicken on a fork behind the pinto bean, and like, put it in his mouth. It didn't matter what we did. He would taste it and he would the meat out. 

So I just kind of gave up at some point. I'm like, you know, I don't think he's gonna die. I  think he can get enough protein from other sources. And, you know, I think Forks Over Knives had just come out. So as he got a little bit older, that was kind of the first movie that we watched or documentary that really kind of went, oh, maybe we shouldn't be eating so much, meat and dairy, maybe we should be eating healthier. 

So my husband, I kind of decided to switch our eating at that point. But we hadn't really zeroed in on what the bad carbs are with the bad, you know, flours and sugars and all that. It was more like, okay, let's eat vegetarian. So we did that for a while and we just weren't feeling like we were getting any healthier.

So then I'd say prior to the keto craze becoming a craze, because that's typically how I tend to roll. It was like, wow, this looks like something really promising. So we went completely keto, like 100% keto, for probably six or nine months. We lost 20 or 30 pounds each and we first felt great. And then as we got further down the journey, you're just, you know, my husband's heart was kind of palpitating, and we just weren't feeling the energy that we thought we wanted.

So we kind of were like, and we started to read some articles that said that maybe this wasn't the best idea. I'm thinking like, how can eating bacon and cheese, and all these things like be good for me, but they say it is.

It was good for weight loss, a short term thing, but ultimately, we just knew it wasn't the right thing. So we kind of went back into more of a normal eating, really started to gain on that vegetarian side, again, realizing how much better we felt with our fruits and veggies. Then when my mom actually got diagnosed with breast cancer, she decided to do a natural path first. 

She went to a place in Cancun that does all sorts of holistic, medical detoxing, basically, to see if your body can fight this cancer itself. I had the privilege to go down there for part of her journey. During that time, I spent a lot of time it took my daughter, but she had all these treatments and stuff. So we just be hanging out or in the hotel room at night. I was awake and the Food Revolution Summit was on with Ocean Robbins. I don't know if you'veβ€”?

Isabel:  Oh, yeah.

Tara:  Yeah. So my friend texted me and she goes, β€œHey, you need to while you're there,” she was just kind of leaning on me to start eating plant based. So she's like, β€œHey, just listen to some of this.” I'm laying awake for hours on end, listening, just taking in all these podcasts actually having the time to do it because normally I don’t, right?

Isabel:  Because there's so much and you're so hungry for the information. You're like, wow, this is revolutionary.

Tara:  Yeah, so that was I guess, early 2017. It all just clicked, it clicked between what I was hearing from them, it clicked betweenβ€”my mom went for three weeks, only three weeks. She came back and her friends are like, β€œDid they have you on a treadmill every day? Your body looks amazing.” She has cancer, right? She goes for three weeks. And she looks, she's lost 20 pounds. She looks, skin looks tighter, brighter, everything looks better and it was just the detoxing. 

They didn't get the cancer out of her but they detox her body and all sorts of natural ways. She looked so much younger, and a lot of that lined up with what I was hearing on the summit at the time. So that was really the start of like, okay, it's whole food plant based for me, minimal oil.

I just listened to your podcast, with all the oils and I'm like, yes, more people need to hear this. I'm not like a strictβ€”I mean, we own restaurants that serve hamburgers and pizza, for goodness sake. So I mean, we're not like, I've got my bacon every so often on Sundays. We're not like, you know, we're reasonable about this. But I always tell peopleβ€”because they're like, β€œHow can you do it?” I said, β€œWe choose not to buy much meat for our house.”

I think the only thing that we really buy is wild fish. But we just had a big party, we served everybody what they wanted to eat, so it's about being practical and really practical. 

Isabel:  Yeah.

Tara:  But ever since we got to that point, and I loveβ€”I'm a cook. I won't call myself a chef, like your husband, but it could be probably, but I love just finding the most delicious, whole food plant based recipes, whether it's a cheese sauce, or whatever spring rolls or, tonight I made a vegan mushroom stroganoff. But just making things that you don't even miss the meat. I really don't miss the meat. And I love throwing parties, dinner parties and not even telling people that I'm not gonna serve meat. Then they get done at their dinner and they're like, β€œWait, what? We didn't have any meat?” And so that's been kind of my passion, personally, is just finding all these amazing recipes that maybe someday I'll turn into a restaurant, maybe they won't. 

Isabel:  I was gonna ask you that question. But before we ask you that question, your mom, how is she doing? 

Tara:  She's doing really well. She ended up having a double mastectomy. She ended upβ€”so this is now about four years in. She ended up, she's on a low dose. She did a low dose chemo and she's doing some estrogen blocking drugs. 

She's taking every step on her own. She's really trying to avoid the full blown chemo and radiation after watching so many of her friends do that and then not heal. So I think like everything in life, it's a balance of traditional medicine and holistic but leaning into the holistic as much as possible. So, you know, she feels great. She's hiking every day, it is still there. So it's this constant, just like seeing if it grows anymore, but her markers go up and markers go down. But she hasn't been sick one day. She's been sick one day since she got cancer four years ago. So I think it's a better track record than a lot of people I know that have cancer.

Isabel:  Absolutely. I'm glad to hear she's doing better. And what a journey. Yeah, our pastor had cancer. She had a mastectomy, radiation and chemo, and she's very strong. I mean, she's got a very strong constitution. So she hasn't been saved. But I thinkβ€”does your mom have a faith? Does she believe in God?

Tara:  Absolutely. 

Isabel:  Oh good.

Tara:  Gets her through and she said from her favorite quote is β€œcan't hurt might help.” So she's tried everything from carrot juice to drinking seawater to pyramidal drugs. And at some point recently Kaiser, the medical group there said to her, β€œWell, whatever you're doing is working. So just keep doing it.” She was, β€œWell, I'm doing like six things.” So I guess they'll keep doing them all. 

It's amazing what your body can continue to do and fight when we don't take our immune systems down. So I admire her for being strong. Not everyone in the family agrees with the decisions that she's made and that's really hard, but it's your own journey to take into fight.

Isabel:  Absolutely. I believe and I know that everybody's got a doctor inside of themselves. When people come to me or any other medical professional, we're just your second opinion. We just help you. That's my philosophy after being a GP, medical doctor for 30 years. It's like you have it inside of you. I'm just going to help coach you and walk alongside you.

Tara:  I would only get doctors for my kids that let me lead the way because I did way more research on how they were feeling and watch them and, and so many. I can tell you that my standard doctors didn't help me with almost anything that my kids came into touch with. It was my holistic doctors and my own research and talking to people that have been through it. The medical industry doesn't have the answers to every little thing that comes up in our lives. They have answers to big, severe problems like a broken leg or you know. The only time we go, my son gets hit with a baseball is pretty much the only time we go to the doctor. So, yeah.

Isabel:  Okay, so how about a healthy restaurant brand? What do you think about that? Has God planted that seed?

Tara:  He's planted the seed that I would love to hire other restaurants and other brands like I am so tired of not being able to find a truly healthy meal when I'm travelling. It just makes me sad how far at least our country is from anything succeeding that's like that. And I think it's a combination of just what we've been raised on and what those cravings are for people. But even in our brands, every time they try to break out, (excuse me) try to bring out something on the healthier end, they typically don't sell as well. 

So I hope that we'll see that we're starting organics, we're starting to see certain things. So I hope and pray that 10 years from now, the landscape will look very different of what you would get out on the road when you're trying to eat. So I would love to be a part of that if the opportunity comes up.

Isabel:  Yeah, so would I. I would really love to be a part of that and so would Michael. But you're rightβ€”people, it's an addiction. People love their dopamine hits. Where are you going to get your dopamine hits? And they don't even know they're addicted. You're going to get them from your carbs and everything that smells delicious. And here in New Zealand, we've got everything that you have in America, we got here.

Tara:  Yeah, my mom went there a few years ago. She said it was absolutely gorgeous. She loved the simplicity of where how you guys live, and just the beauty of it all. But yes, the western, the American brands and such are taking over everywhere. It should be pretty obvious when you can watch the studies when they move into other countries, and then people start having the same health problems. 

That was part of why I wanted to kind of slink away from the family restaurant business. I'm not going to throw any brands under the bus here but what started 75 or 50 years ago as what was I guess, decently healthy at the time, or we didn't know, we didn't eat it all the time, with smaller portions, and it just grew into a habit for so many people. I couldn't, in good conscience, keep making my living off of people, trying to sell them more. I really pulled back my marketing from our more fast food brands, and just said, okay, we happen to own it. God gave it to us, but I'm not going to try to get people to buy more of it. It's not what's on my heart right now. So…

Isabel:  Wow, Tara. I applaud you for that because that's a financial poll, but it's also an ethical poll.

Tara:  Didn't go over well, so my family since I was the marketing person, but luckily, we were diversified and we do have a little healthier brands. So I was able to kind of jump into that one and just put blinders on to (unclear).

Isabel:  And I can relate because when I found out about functional medicine, I'd always wanted to become a naturopath doctor. But I had this anatomy teacher that said, β€œWhy do you want to become a naturopath?” I said, β€œBecause I want to change the way medicine is.” Because well, in all honesty, this is back in Boulder in 1985. He said, β€œIsabel, in all honesty, you're not going to change medicine as a naturopath, you've got to be on the inside.” I did not really get it but I did get it and I switched over to become a medical doctor. 

Now that I've been a medical doctor and realized, oh my gosh, we don't have health care, we've got disease management. We've got to switch over and get people plugged into their own doctor inside and get to the root, which you understand. 

I had to kind of put my blinders on and not throw anybody under the bus. Just say, okay, we're switching over this way and that's hard to do financially because you're not subsidized. No insurance company pays for the medicine we do. People are paying our of pocket to come and do what we're doing. So I know what you're talking about and I applaud you because I know how hard that is.

Tara:  Thank you.

Isabel:  Now your daughter had allergy problems. So did mine. Tell me what happened.

Tara:  So she was born in 2010. It was right before Christmas and then November so of course you know all sorts of foods and things around. So pretty quickly I started noticing that her tummy would get really hard after I nursed her and then I think it was within a few months, maybe even right awayβ€”I can't remember, it was a blur. She would start to have these nights and they would happen once or twice a week where she would wake up around 11 or midnight, her tummy was so protruded that it was like hard as a rock. She would start screaming, and it would last between four and eight hours. She would just scream, and scream, and scream. 

My son had classic colic so he was also screaming. This is why I have two children, and no more. But his was a fussy cry. This was a β€œI'm in pain, I'm writhing in pain, my stomach hurt.” So of course, immediately started taking this out of my diet, and that out of diet. I was literally down to eating, like white bread and Turkey, like I was down to that, which probably wasn't the best option, but it's what I knew at the time. Taking out all the spices, and milks and dairies, and it still kept happening. 

So I was just at my wit's end. I would go to work and just barely awake, and when I hear her start crying, I was like, β€œOh, it's gonna be another night like that.” So I started calling all my friends that have had problems with their kids, okay, I'm gonna try anything. So first, and of course, when you have allergies, and I'm sure you know this, it throws off your whole immune system. And so you get sick, right? Because your body is constantly fighting, whatever it is that's throwing your immune system off. 

So not only was she screaming once or twice a week, but she had every cold sickness, flu, it's winter, she had ear infections, she was a mess. She shouldn't have been, she was a perfectly healthy baby. So I ended up starting with essential oils, which I still use every day. And that's our first go to for anything that's wrong in our house. That helped a little bit on the symptoms of the infections and getting better from being sick and things like that, but there was still a deeper rooted problem. 

So my friend pointed me to an acupuncturist, which I had never been to an acupuncturist. I was kind of scared of acupuncturist at the time. He had a certain muscle testing technique that actually go, which weird as it sounds, my husband thought I was insane the first time I came home and told him. But you know, I hold her and he can test through me and have a muscle resistance to see what the allergies are. 

She ended up having a severe allergy to calcium, which is in pretty much everything you would feed a baby, right? 

Isabel:  Right.

Tara:  So here I was chasing this holy grail of like, what's wrong. And by this point, she's 11, 12 months. She's eating food, I weaned her off, because I was so tired of trying to figure out what I was eating. And so she was good for a while on the rice cereal and then we switched to the multigrain. She broke out in hives and I think that was the day I was like, this is it. Like I will do whatever it takes. 

The doctors aren't helping me. They're just like, β€œOh, she'll grow out of it.” I'm like, β€œYou don't understand. I haven't slept in 16 months now.” So yeah, we went in and after the way that this amazing kind acupuncturist, she’s since become a friend, described it is everyone's got a cup for their allergies kind of. So you've got a little bit of this, and a little bit of that, a little bit of this, and then something pushes that cup over. So you're constantly thinking it's that, but it could have been full of 80% of bee pollen, or could have been full of 50% of milk or whatever, and you don't know what's kind of building up in your body. 

Through this amazing technique, back before God made doctors, medicines and drugs, of course, he gave us ways to fix things. This was discovered awhile back and he not only could help her, but actually treat and cure these allergies. So it taught her body to not be rejecting it. 

The first few treatments, we just saw huge improvements and then it was just continually testing. I mean, she ended up being allergic to brown rice, sweet potato and eggs. I still am trying to find the commonality between them all, there's a lot of things on the ground. I don't know if there is one, but finally got to a place where she was good. 

She is the healthiest child, like she was never sick again. The other day, I took her in and they go you realize you haven't been in for five years, right? I mean, she's only 10. (unclear)

So once we got her all done with that, and so that really just set me on this path of like, I'm not gonna just run to my doctor when my kids are sick because they only have certain tools in their arsenal. There's so many amazing practitioners out there that have other things. So we're always using chiropractic, we're always using acupuncture, we're always using oils, natural remedies, and so far so good on most of that. But she was kind of my wife for really diving into what's behind our health and our immune system. It just didn't make sense for this little kid to be so unhealthy and I'm sure it was environmental or something in our toxic world that just kind of set her body spinning. But I was grateful that I had to go on that journey and I think our whole family is healthier because of it. 

Isabel:  Absolutely. And how old is she now?

Tara:  She is 10 going on 18.

Isabel:  And you finally got some sleep?

Tara:  Oh, I did. Yeah, it was amazing. I mean, the funny part was, as a two year old, she would sleep till 10 or 11am. I didn't know she was such a good sleeper because I always thought she was just recovering from being up at night. She still will sleep untilβ€”she'll go to bed at like 9 and she'll still sleep till 9 or 10. She loves to sleep so as soon as I got her little body fixed, she was she was good to go.

Isabel:  Oh, man and the doors that opened for you to understand what is going on. And is she still having sensitivities to all these? Or she a lot better now?

Tara:  Nope, no sensitivities. We just continue to use that process for anything that bothers us whether it's pollen, or we were moving here to North Carolina, we realized we had a lot of poison oak on our property. And so when we went back to California, we got tested, I think it's poison oak in California, poison ivy out here, or vice versa. We went ahead and get the same plant. We got tested for it and her and I were allergic. So we just went ahead and got treated for it. Hopefully, we don't ever have to deal with that but yeah, it's just become part of our arsenal is.

Isabel:  I love it. Your toolkit, your toolkit, I love it. 

Tara:  Yeah. 

Isabel:  And I also wanted to ask you, you've been married to your husband for 15 years now. 

Tara:  We have.

Isabel:  Bravo, bravo, bravo. And you said that you've only had a couple of fights. So how do you do that? Share it with the world.

Tara:  We put each other first and I say he's very good at doing that. But I think just don't let things be a big deal and you don't get hurt by something that you shouldn't, and you know, that you're going through, like a crazy life together. But if you don't get along with each other, I mean, who do you have, right? 

And so, I think early on in our marriage, we did a study at church love and respect. The only times we've really fought were actually when we tried to teach the study to others. And we had to really face ourselves in the mirror and do that. But I think our principles and the principles in the Bible, and the principles in the study are women need to be loved and men need to be respected. I think that is very biblical, doesn't mean women don't need to be respected, they absolutely do but it's not what's missing. And most of us, we have this desire for love and they have this desire for respect.

I think the world focuses on love, it's so easy, right? Valentine's and love, love, love and love, love love. Women can often feel very loved, and not realizing that their husbands need to feel very respected. So when I can step back and say, β€œOkay, I'm being very loving, but am I really being respectful of him in certain ways?” So I think trying to constantly again fill our toolbox with studies or Bible passages or just serving, putting each other first, love languagesβ€”we love the love languages. 

Isabel:  Yes.

Tara:  Things they change over time, you know? 

Isabel:  Yes. My husband says, β€œBabe, you're—” I go, β€œNo, no. My love language is words. Because babe, yes, but your love language is, all of them too.” Like, okay, I'll take them all.

Tara:  Hence, the needing to be loved. Butβ€”

Isabel:  What's your love language? Number one?

Tara:  Acts of service. 

Isabel:  Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's mine too.

Tara:  Almost every mom. Yeah.

Isabel:  Yeah that’s mine too for sure, Tara. Acts of service.

Tara:  It's been a crazy ride. But you know, I think just being there for each other and just really going out of our way to meet each other's needs, to understand where you're at that point in your life, whether he's more stressed or I'm more stressed, or sometimes we're both stressed. That's when we ended up usually fighting, but usually God will give us the grace of one or the both of us being in a different position. So it's been a fun journey.

I'm thankful. God had circumstances that allowed us to meet literally at a bar. It was like a five minute chance and then it was a God thing. It had to be, you know, and shouldn't happen. So I always reflect on that as like, wow, he lined that up and then it just became my life partner. So yeah.

Isabel:  Yeah. I love that. Because five minutes later, you wouldn't have done that, and look you wouldn't be with your husband.

Tara:  Yeah, yeah. 

Isabel:  Just like that. I wanted to ask you before we kind of land this plane. Do you ever go to bed mad at each other? Or do you resolve that before you go to bed? And the reason I say this is because it's a teaching point for the rest of the world.

Tara:  Yes. I mean, you always hear that β€œdon't go to bed angry.” I think sometimes you just need to, but we don't let it linger. I'd say there are only been a couple nights and it wasn't the night to discuss it. But it wasn't, rarely, if ever, so we try to talk things out. I think, I don't know if he's normal compared to most guys, but he'll just usually wake up like, nothing happened. And then I'll be like, wait, but I've actually learned to just let it go too because if he's letting it go, then I need to really search myself and say, do we really need to talk about this more? Or is he good with it? And I'm good with it. And so I check myself to say, is there something I still need to talk about? Or has he kind ofβ€”it is innately in men to just kind of move on and actually move on, whereas women tend to be like, well, you're not talking about it, but there must be something still wrong. So I tried to balance my selfishness with his needs.

Isabel:  And I love the bottom line, women need to be loved and men need to be respected. That took meβ€”Michael and I have been together for 40 years now. 

Tara:  Oh wow.

Isabel:  Yeah. And I was not, I'll be honest, I was not respectful of him as a type A personality go, go, go. I was like, I'm the boss. But you know, that's the guide, correct and all that. Thank God.

Tara:  I tell people this, when we were going through that there was a kind of a challenge was going through the love and respect series. And there was kind of a challenge to write a card for your husband that said, instead of saying, β€œI love you,” it says, β€œI respect you” and like, write out the reasons why. 

I thought it was the most lame thing. I'm like, he's so gonna know, I'm doing this just because of this. And he kept that card in his nightstand for I think he still has it. But there was just something like, we all did it, me and my girlfriends and all of the men. In fact, I should do it again. That they allβ€”

Isabel:  I'm going to do it. I'm doing it today.

Tara:  Awesome.

Isabel:  Yeah, I'm going to get a piece of construction paper and cut it out like a big heart. He's gonna open it and I'm gonna say β€œI respect you” and that is beautiful because people need that. Our men need that. 

Tara:  Absolutely. 

Isabel:  Great. Oh, thank you so much for your time. I love to see what God's doing in your life. And you're just saying β€œno” to that and saying, β€œI'm moving this way. β€œ And that takes a lot of courage.

Tara:  You know, people think that you have to prayβ€”and you do have to pray but you also just have to listen to your gut. I think when you've got the spirit in your gut at work in you, you also can't go against that. So when something just doesn't sit right with you or feels like you need to do it, you need to listen to that. Pray and make sure you're listening to the right voice, of course, but I've had a lot of people who know they need to do something. We know they need to move or leave their job or whatever but they just mentally can't get there. I think you have to listen to your gut and God will take you where you need to go.

Isabel:  Amen. All right, so where can we find you? Let's see, I've got at Cedarβ€”and don't worry, we're gonna go ahead and have links for all this. But the first place we can find you is [email protected] And can you tell us a little bit about that site, please?

Tara:  Oh, it’s We were so blessed when we moved to North Carolina. We thought we were gonna buy a little shack and just put our money away but God had bigger plans. And he blessed us with the most amazing property just tucked in the woods outside of Raleigh, and the house was built by a themed architect. It’s very modern, and it has cedar lines, everything. It is built fully of cement. It is indestructible. It is gorgeous. And so that is our home and next to our home is our barn-apartment-guest house. 

So part of what we're hoping to do here is open a bed and breakfast, a retreat center, and then also just have people join our lists to get some of my recipes and anything else that we may be growing or putting out from the property here. It's just put up today just for you. So patience, but I've been taking pictures and I have tons of amazing recipes to share and also just tips for living holistically. 

So that's our starter website. You can put your email and I won't spam you I promise. You'll be lucky to hear from me every few weeks with my life the way it is right now but it's a place you could connect and once we have our other pages up I'll share those out from there. So it’s

Isabel:  Right, and then the other one is Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Tara:  So I am a story brand certified guide and that is the landing page for that. I wanted to share that with anyone listening because it's really been a blessing in my life in the last year or so as I started following this journey of story brand with Donald Miller. 

If you're starting a business or needing marketing or just want to start a personal brand, just like you're doing an amazing job atβ€”

Isabel:  Thank you.

Tara:  It is amazing community of marketers to either become a part of or get some help from. So I do websites, sales funnels, blogs, a lot of copywriting. It's all about writing the words that really speak to people in this crazy world. So you can actually cut through the clutter and it's very simple. It's more simple than you think. 

So if anyone's got that kind of business mind, I just encourage you to check out Marketing Made Simple. My profile’s on there, as well as a bunch of others and a lot of resources to just help you grow your business.

Isabel:  Excellent. And we all want to be louder in this world because there’s a lot of clutter out there.

Tara:  Yeah. And simple is louder, right?

Isabel:  Yes.

Tara:  It’s not about being clever, it’s about being clear. The people who are the clearest with their message are the ones that are making a difference right now.

Isabel:  And then the last one is your

Tara:  Yep. You can link to that from the Marketing Made Simple. That is just my personal marketing company. So again, if anyone just even wants some free advice or wants to grow their business, I love helping people. So…

Isabel:  I can tell you love helping people. Alright, well thank you so much. You have been wonderful. I love talking to you and I’ll definitely have to next time we come to America, check out your BnB.

Tara:  Please. You are more than welcome.

Isabel:  Alright. Thank you very much, Tara. God bless you.

Tara:  Thank you so much.

Isabel:  Good bye.