MD and Chef Team - The Show!

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July 31, 2021 Dr. Isabel MD & Culinary Nutrition Expert Chef Michael Season 2 Episode 21
MD and Chef Team - The Show!
π‡πžπ₯𝐩! π†πžπ­ 𝐌𝐞 𝐎𝐟𝐟 𝐓𝐑𝐒𝐬 π‚π«πšπ³π² π‘π’ππž!
Show Notes Transcript

βž₯Β  In this episode of the MD and Chef Team Show, Dr. Isabel MD interviews Tricia Nelson, who lost fifty pounds by identifying and healing the underlying causes of her emotional eating.

πŸ”·Β  Tricia spent over thirty years researching the hidden causes of the addictive personality. She is an Emotional Eating Expert and author of the #1 bestselling book, Heal Your Hunger, "7 Simple Steps to End Emotional Eating Now."Β 

πŸ”·Β  She also certifies health coaches so they can get better results, referrals and revenue by helping their clients overcome emotional eating.

πŸ”·Β  Tricia is the host of the popular podcast, The Heal Your Hunger Show. She is well respected speaker and has been featured on numerous media outlets, such as NBC, CBS, KTLA, FOX and Discovery Health.

πŸ”·Β  𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 π‘―π’–π’π’ˆπ’†π’“ π’Šπ’” 𝒂 π’‘π’“π’π’ˆπ’“π’‚π’Ž π’…π’†π’…π’Šπ’„π’‚π’•π’†π’… 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑 π’˜π’π’Žπ’†π’ 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍 π’ƒπ’š π’‚π’…π’…π’“π’†π’”π’”π’Šπ’π’ˆ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 π’–π’π’…π’†π’“π’π’šπ’Šπ’π’ˆ π’Šπ’”π’”π’–π’†π’” 𝒐𝒇 π’†π’Žπ’π’•π’Šπ’π’π’‚π’ π’†π’‚π’•π’Šπ’π’ˆ.

βž₯ Download & Listen for the Story!

πŸ”—Β  Β 
The link to follow and learn more about Tricia's Complimentary Emotional Eating Breakthrough SessionΒ  to serve you ...Β 
https://www.healyourhunger.com/apply

Social Media:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HealYourHunger
Instagram: @tricianelson_Β  Β πŸ”—


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Speaker 0 (0s): Coming up on this episode of the MD and shift team show, 

Speaker 1 (8s): I was losing it, you know, like a tight control for nine months, losing a bunch of weight feeling great, but then it was, it was wearing off. And I knew, I just knew I'm about to go up the scale again for the umpteenth time. And I, I just, I thought to myself, I can't do this. Like I can't keep this pattern up. And that's the moment at which I was like, you know, I mean, I didn't have a solution, but I know I don't even remember praying, but I do remember just thinking I am screwed, I'm screwed and there has to be a better way. 

And that is a prayer in and of itself. 

Speaker 2 (48s): Welcome to the show from the MDs chef team. I'm Dr. Isabel medical doctor here at the MD and chef team. And who are you? I'm chef Michael Coleman nutrition expert. I'm the chef at the kid. And what are we going to talk about bed now? I can see that cause he's my husband. Well, then we'll be talking about marriage relationships, parenting intimacy. Talk about mindsets of success, overcoming depression, anxiety. I'll be getting into functional nutrition, recipes and tips from the kitchen. 

And we're going to both get into how to live a long, healthy, vibrant life. Yes, I love it. Our mission is to help you prevent and reverse the disease and give you both in the process. Oh yeah, we might 

Speaker 3 (1m 36s): Get on the show. Welcome Tricia to the MD and chef team podcast. Thank you so much. 

Speaker 1 (1m 48s): Thank you for having me. I love being here. My 

Speaker 3 (1m 51s): Pleasure. I love your background. That looks so cool. 

Speaker 1 (1m 56s): Thank you. I do too. I used to have like a, a branded background, like this thing that had my logo on it, but I got bored with it and I was just thinking, I don't use that anymore. I'm like, yeah, because I need to see something. I like to see, like, I don't care what anybody else thinks, but I like the background and it, I just so many things on zoom, like might as well be pleased. 

Speaker 3 (2m 15s): That's right. That's right. And I love the fluffiness. They just look so 

Speaker 1 (2m 22s): Comfortable. Sheepskin chairs. Nice. 

Speaker 3 (2m 25s): Speaking of sheepskin. So where are you in the world? 

Speaker 1 (2m 28s): I'm in Los Angeles of all places. Wow. 

Speaker 3 (2m 33s): Things going in LA 

Speaker 1 (2m 35s): Things are good. Yeah. It's kind of a cloudy day, which is unusual for us. We don't get a lot of rain, you know, it's sunny Southern California, for sure. So I was really excited. Like we get really excited when we have rain. Any moisture is all big deal and then it never lasts. But, but it's good. LA is good. We have to wear masks indoors. So we're back to that, which is okay. We know the drill. Yeah. But overall, it's just, it's a great place to be. I love living here. I've been here about 15 years. 

Speaker 3 (3m 5s): Nice. Beautiful. I do you have to wear masks when you go to the beach? 

Speaker 1 (3m 9s): No, no. Outdoors is fine. No mass outdoors. 

Speaker 3 (3m 13s): Oh, that's great. I remember it. New Zealand here in New Zealand where I live right now, when we went into lockdown that remember that first locked down. I was like, oh, what are we doing? Well, they made us stay in our house and we were only allowed to go out for an hour and we weren't allowed to go to the beach. And that just, I don't know about you, but I'm a beach girl. How about you? 

Speaker 1 (3m 35s): W yes, me too. And we had the same thing and I'm thinking, how can they possibly do that? Like, how can they do that? Like, we've got to have some place for happiness and mobility and beauty. And that was, that was a big, that was a big blow. 

Speaker 3 (3m 51s): Yeah. Yeah. That was a stab to my heart. It made me very, my heart. Very, very sad. Hey, how about if I share with our listeners a little bit about you, is that okay? Of course. And then we'll just take a deep dive in. Okay. All right. So Trisha Nelson lost 50 pounds. Wow. By identifying and healing, the underlying causes of her emotional eating Tricia has spent over 30 years researching the hidden causes of the addictive personality. 

I have an addictive personality. So I'm really excited to talk to you about that. Trisha is an emotional eating expert and author of the number one best-selling book heal your hunger, seven simple steps to end emotional eating. Now, she also is a certified health coach, so they, so people can get better results, referrals, and revenues by helping their clients overcome emotional eating. Trisha is also a pop the host of the popular podcast, the heal your hunger show. 

She is well-respected speaker and has been featured on numerous media outlets, such as NBC and America. Very good. CBS Katie LA probably from LA, right? Yeah. Box of discovery health. Fantastic. Welcome to the MD and chef team podcast. So glad that 

Speaker 1 (5m 24s): Isabel, so glad to be here. I 

Speaker 3 (5m 27s): Was, I was kind of, you know, doing a little scroll through your Instagram the other day, and I just love the following two statements that you had. Most people have no idea how good the human body is supposed to feel. 

Speaker 1 (5m 44s): That's right. That's right. For sure. I 

Speaker 3 (5m 47s): Would say at least 80% of the population does not. Yeah. 

Speaker 1 (5m 52s): Yeah. We're muddling through and settling for aches and pains and hating this and hating that. And there's a lot better way to live. 

Speaker 3 (6m 1s): Yeah. And just thinking, oh, this is natural, you know, I'm just going to take a pill for this and a pill for that. 

Speaker 1 (6m 7s): Or it's old. It's a, you know, it's how it's supposed to feel. 

Speaker 3 (6m 13s): Yep. That's absolutely right. And then the other one is this one really is so good. Not eating sugar is an act of, self-care not deprivation or punishment. So many people think, what do you mean that you would think that you were taking their first born 

Speaker 1 (6m 32s): When you were a wreck 

Speaker 3 (6m 34s): Them, then now you're not supposed to be having any sugar. 

Speaker 1 (6m 37s): Yeah, no question and no question and people freak out, but they don't realize they can, they can actually be free of the cravings for sugar. It's hard to take something away when you're, you, you gotta have it. You know, that's when they get all freaked out. But what they don't realize is the cravings can be relieved. And so if you don't want something and you don't crave it, it's not a big deal. Not to have it. 

Speaker 3 (6m 59s): Absolutely. Right. And you know, that takes, what about how many days to do you find that it usually takes to get rid of that sugar craving? 

Speaker 1 (7m 7s): Well, physically for me four or five days, but the emotional dependence to me is the bigger kicker, you know? And so that takes a little time. That's why I do what I do because people don't realize that it's not just getting it physically out of your system, but really addressing the emotional dependence, you know, which is so much greater than the physical, the physical stinks, you know, when you're, you're hooked, you're hooked. It's like, you know, just as addictive as something like cocaine, but, but once that's out of your system and if you are still wanting it, that's an emotional thing. 

Speaker 3 (7m 42s): And it is an emotional thing. And we just keep on coming back to that breast milk, you know, I want my basketball and we are, we're kind of like little kids. Oh, there's so much to talk to you about, well, we can talk about, let's talk about why comfort foods are so comforting. 

Speaker 1 (7m 57s): Yeah. Wow. Well, you know, I overate for so long, you know, that I didn't know there's any wrong with it. I thought I was, I just like food, but when I gained weight and was 50 pounds overweight by age 20, and I'd tried lots of diets already, you know, I knew there was something more to it. And when my sister came home one day and announced that she was an emotional eater, I did not like my sister. So I'm like, I think she says I was going to dismiss. So she's like, I'm an emotional eater. And I thought, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. 

I just like food, but the seed was planted. And after that, I started looking at my, you know, the way I ate and like, I'd be out to lunch with friends and they'd order a sandwich and it came with fries and they'd eat their sandwich and pick up their fries. I'd eat my fries and pick up my sandwich. And then I look at, I'm going to be like, how could they leave a French fry on the table like that late on their plate? I'm like, that's, I want that. Like, I want every single one on the table. So I realized that my relationship with food was different than your average person. 

So, you know, my experiences, food and emotional eating does come from eating to anesthetize or stuff or numb, you know, emotions basically. That's what emotional eating is. And so food does that. Well, I mean, it just does, and it's not the lettuce and the celery sticks that we're eating to snuff out those feelings. It has to be something heavier. It has to be something dense, caloric, you know, and heavy. And so that's the carbs, that's the sugar, that's the super fatty foods. 

And to me, my favorite three food groups are sugar, you know, sugar fat and, you know, just starch. So, you know, get them in a doughnut or a pastry or something. So, so the reason why we're drawn to those foods so often is because, I mean, for one, the serotonin effect, like it makes us feel good. The dopamine hit, we get the feeds, the reward centers in our brain, but also it just deadens the emotions where we don't feel anything. 

And that's really what we're going for on a subconscious level. Like we just don't want to be as aware of the emotions going on inside of our body. And so when we eat and we're stuffed, we're feeling no pain temporarily. 

Speaker 3 (10m 19s): Yeah. I just wanted to ask you two questions. One, well actually let you know my favorite food and I've had to give this away as macaroni and cheese. I, 

Speaker 1 (10m 30s): A hundred percent. 

Speaker 3 (10m 33s): I was at the health food store the other day. And I was looking at, oh God, I was just feeling like I wanted to emotionally eat. Cause I was just feeling low, you know, that space. And I was looking at, oh, gluten-free pasta. Okay. And then we can give some kind of cheese imitation cause I'm dairy free, but you know what? I just stepped away because I knew what I was doing. Cause you know, you learn after a while, like you can't be doing that. So what, what, what, where do these emotions come from and how long does that high last for? 

Speaker 1 (11m 5s): Yeah. Well the problem with it is it doesn't last very long. Okay. And that's why we have to keep eating. That's why we snack throughout the day. It's like to stay numb. We have to keep it going. That's the problem with addictions is, you know, it works temporarily. We have to keep doing it to get the same effect. And unfortunately with addictions, you actually have to do more of it to get the same effect, you know, because of the tolerance, you build up a tolerance when you're addicted to something and then you have to have more to get the same hit. But you know, my experience is that there are three primary driving emotions. 

And so, and, and, and they have lots of offshoot emotions, but just to simplify it for people so they can start kind of tuning in and tapping into what might be going on. I call it the pep test and is an acronym P E P it's an acronym that helps people just kind of check in. So I say, take the pep test. What does that mean? Well, the P stands for painkiller. So when we're wandering into the kitchen, you know, looking and in the refrigerator for like the 18th time, you know, it's like, there's something going on inside or there's something in our lives that's just really hard to deal with. 

So let's say, you know, a job that doesn't fit us anymore and we're really miserable about or relationship that we should have ended five years ago. And we're still muddling through, you know, or perhaps, you know, a parent who's sick, you know, and we have to face that, you know, their, their cognitive decline or a kid who's got, you know, some kind of, you know, issues that make it hard and, and stressful to parent them. So whatever it is, I mean, there's no shortage, you know, all, all God's children got problems, so there's lots of problems to go around. 

Right. You know, but when our habit is to just run from these, by eating, which is not a conscious thing, it's just a habit that we just unconsciously do. But when we do it, we have to keep doing it. So paint, we use food as a painkiller to avoid uncomfortable, painful emotions. The EA and pep stands for escape. So we use food as a form of escape when we just don't want to deal. Okay. And probably there was no other time in our lives at this, that this was an issue as the pandemic where it's like all of a sudden you could walk out the door and die, you know, and, and we're being locked in down and, you know, it's just super hard. 

And you know, there's a lot of anxiety left, free floating anxiety, you know, that makes us want to check out. Okay. So food is an escape is a big one. And the last P and pep stands for punishment, which is kind of counterintuitive because we think of the food as reward. Right. But the truth is that if we overeat, like we eat, you know, like two X access, you know, we overindulge when we feel bad or if we eat something that we know, like we eat dairy when we know dairy makes us have issues or get inflamed or whatever. 

And then we're really mad at ourselves. It turns into a punishment, you know, where it was, we were trying to reward ourselves, but then we, we tip the scales and it's pardon the pun. But we, we ended up punishing our bodies. You know, we were hurting, we're suffering on account of the choices we make. So it begs the question, why would we do that? And the reason is, you know, Overeaters or over feelers and we feel guilty about everything. 

Speaker 3 (14m 38s): Wow. You are so good over feelers. Wow. That's very good. 

Speaker 1 (14m 46s): Yeah. So we oftentimes underlying guilt can drive our emotions as well and end up beating ourselves up with food. 

Speaker 3 (14m 54s): So how do we, unfeel calling all women. 

Speaker 0 (15m 1s): Are you feeling depressed? Lack of energy, anxious, you're thinking is foggy, poor sleep, or maybe even hopeless. You know, there is a better you to present to this world. Hey, it's me, Dr. Isabel. And wow. If any of this sounds like you, hi, get you. I have been in this place and I've overcome those negative feelings. That's why I've created the free and private Facebook group called the bossy brain solution. 

Yeah. Would you like weekly coaching to help you become your best self come and see for yourself and be empowered by the other women who want to shine their best light in this world? The link is in the podcast description, or you could search for the bossy brain solution in Facebook groups, it's private and free. So come and join us today and know that there is hope. 

And I encourage you to remain on stoppable. And now back to the podcast. 

Speaker 1 (16m 17s): Yeah. Well, you don't actually, you don't. Yeah. It's like you don't, you, you, you, you deal, let's say let's put it this way. And I would just want to recap the pep of somebody. Like, what'd she say so that we use food as a painkiller and escape and a form of punishment. So somebody is, you know, just feeling hungry, take the pep test. Like, am I, am I looking for this food to kill some pain, something going on in my life? I don't want to deal with, or, you know, my mad at myself for something I said or something I did. 

So that's just the little pep test. How do you unfeel? Well, you know, first of all, we have to feel in order to unfeel. So the point is, you know, we don't feel when we overeat, right. We're stuffing feelings, but we have to acclimate to ha to feeling feelings. Okay. So we have to stop being so afraid of our feelings and thinking that our feelings are going to kill us, because I just always believed if I thought, if I felt something to the fullest, if I wasn't anesthetized, okay. If I wasn't covering up with food or alcohol or sex or shopping or something that sort of numbed me out, I wouldn't be able to bear the feelings. 

So that's a, that's a belief I had. It's not true, but it was a belief I had, you know? And so in my experience, and what I do with my clients is I help that I create a safe environment where they can start kind of stopping, stopping their painkillers and starting to feel, but in the presence of community, which is really helpful when you do this alone and then using self care tools that can help you process those feelings really quickly. So they don't overtake you. But ultimately I tell people to feel, deal and heal, you know, and that's the key is that we actually have to feel them in order to heal from them. 

But the liability of being an over feeler, you know, where everything hurts, you know, that's why we start medicating with food so that the solution is really having better coping tools to deal with life. It's really life on life's terms that we're talking about. You know, stuff happens, we can't avoid it, but when food's been our go-to for so long, like we react with food that has to change. And we also have to just realize that our feelings aren't going to kill us, and we have to have new tools for addressing those feelings without stuffing them with food. 

Speaker 3 (18m 42s): Well said, well said, Dr. Tricia, I mean, that is really good. And I love that feel, deal and heal. Yeah. So good. You know, it's pretty much like alcoholics anonymous too. 

Speaker 1 (19m 3s): Cause alcohol, oh, it's totally similar. I mean, addict and addiction is an addiction, you know, and I was, I mean, I call it a spectrum. Like we're the emotional eating spectrum on the low end of the spectrum is emotional eating. And on the high end of the spectrum is food addiction. You know, I was a food addict, no question about it. And I actually have a quiz on my website where people can find out where they are on that spectrum, spectrum that gradient. And it's really what determines where somebody is on that spectrum. 

And what score they get is really based on two things. One is level of control where they can course correct. And the other's consequences, you know? So some people, you know, let's say they go on vacation and they eat too much. They feel a little, you know, stuffed into their genes. You know, the next week, maybe they'll cut out sugar and start jogging extra miles. Okay. And then boom, the five pounds are off. No biggie. That's somebody in the low end, low end of the emotional eating spectrum. 

The high end is food addiction. That's somebody who, you know, once they open that Pandora's box of sugar, they can't stop and they just keep going. And before you know it, you know, they've gained 20 pounds. That was the pandemic. That's what happened to so many people during the pandemic. You know, if I had a dollar for every time, somebody said, oh, you know, I was doing great until a pandemic happened, you know? And so it's like, they, they just fall down the hole. I mean, I have one, one clients who gained 50 pounds during the pandemic. 

Yeah. So painful. But that's somebody, who's more like a food addict where they can't course correct. Like once they open that door, it's hard to shut it again. And it's a dark hole, you know, of overeating promising. You're going to do better. It's falling back into it. And it is, it's like the addictive cycle, just like the alcoholic is with alcohol. 

Speaker 3 (20m 58s): And then you start hating yourself and your self talk starts coming in and then you start getting depressed and, oh, what's the sense. Yeah. You've really have to practice productive thought management and, and become the boss of your brain. Cause if not my gosh, but you know, you, and I've learned this the hard way, 

Speaker 1 (21m 17s): Right? Yeah. It seems like it. 

Speaker 3 (21m 22s): So 50 pounds ago, what, you know, what happened? Tell me what made you go? Oh my gosh. I just got to, I've got to course correct. 

Speaker 1 (21m 33s): Yes. Well, I mean, I'm S I'm so grateful for that day. It was kind of benign, you know, I mean, I was, I had lost about 40 pounds and I was feeling great. I was buying new clothes. You know, we love to buy new clothes. You know, when we feel bad, I was like wearing three different outfits a day. I was so thrilled know Ms. Polka dot. 

So, so basically I, I was feeling great, but after a little while when you lose weight, here's the thing, you know, you're just convinced that it's gonna make everything better. Really. 

Speaker 3 (22m 17s): The problem is 

Speaker 1 (22m 20s): Like if only I lost the weight, everything would be better. And it's not true because guess what? The weight is a symptom, you know, overweight, is it a symptom of overeating and overeating as a symptom of what's eating me? So I lost the weight, but everything that was eating me just showed up. Like all of a sudden I was aware of more feelings was no tools to deal with them except a whole bunch of clothes, like, which is not gonna cut it. 

No. So here I am, you know, the, the, the newness, the novelty of losing weight, people commenting, you know, ego feed, ego feed. It felt great for a while, but then it starts to wear off, you know, and it's not cutting any boring people, you know, they're done commenting. And then it's just, it's just Trisha. You know, it's just the regular business as usual. And so all those feelings that I had stuffed with food and started to come up and I did not have tools to deal with them. Cause I'd just been focusing on this symptom of food and weight. 

So I, one day, you know, and I was on a pretty strict food plan of eating three meals, eating nothing in between. And I had a friend come over and I put some, I was living with some other people. And so there was some red grapes in the fridge. I put them in a bowl and put them on, you know, between us and we were sitting and talking for several hours. And when this friend left, I looked at the bowl and the grapes are gone. And not only that I was the one ate them. And that was awkward actually, to be honest, that was my moment of truth. Because even though it wasn't as big, bad binge, I wasn't, it wasn't on my food plan to eat grapes in the middle of the afternoon. 

Yeah. And I looked down and I'm like, wow. You know, I just gobbled all those up. And the thing is, my pattern had been, I was a yo-yo or, okay, so I'd be up 30, down 20, up 40, down 10. I was, you know, I had like five different sizes of pants in my closet because I never knew what size I was going to be. So here I am. And I'm like, oh, no, like, here we go again. And I just knew I was losing it, you know, like a tight control for nine months losing a bunch of weight feeling great, but then it was, it was wearing off. 

And I knew, I just knew I'm about to go up the scale again for the umpteenth time. And I, I just, I thought to myself, I can't do this. Like I can't keep this pattern up. And that's the moment at which I was like, you know, I mean, I didn't have a solution, but I know I don't even remember praying, but I do remember just thinking I am screwed, you know, I'm screwed and there has to be a better way. And that is a prayer in and of itself, you know? 

Yeah. 

Speaker 3 (25m 7s): God hears all kinds of prayers. 

Speaker 1 (25m 11s): It's right after that, like with the, oh, the other thing I have to say, this is, this is only in hindsight. I realized I had started to pray on my knees around that time too. Somebody had suggested, instead of just praying you pray on your news news, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and I had a futon at the time. So it's hard to like pray by your bed when it's a futon. It's so short, I kneel and kind of tumble, you know, so, so, but I would do it anyway. 

I'd meal, you know, I was there for like three seconds and then I'd tumble in a bit. But, but just that small act I believe helped got like, I, I think it helped me connect. Okay, 

Speaker 3 (25m 60s): Hey, whatever it takes, you know? 

Speaker 1 (26m 2s): Yeah. So right after that grape scene, I, and I did, I started overeat actually. It was not long before that I was after that, that was bingeing. But, but within two weeks I met somebody who could help me and could help me address and heal the underlying causes and, and take me on a whole different route for weight loss and for sanity around food. And that, that's what helped me is that absolute, you know, guidance that had nothing to do with food and weight, but it was really a spiritual journey. 

It was really, let's clear out all the things that are blocking you, you know, from that grace. And let's like deal with that stuff, clear it out and, and let God help you. And what happened? I 

Speaker 3 (26m 45s): Love it. And you know, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but would you feel comfortable sharing what were the underlying roots? Oh, of course. 

Speaker 1 (26m 55s): Oh gosh, I have, no, I am not bashful about it because guess what? It's pretty much the same for everybody. So, I mean, yeah, sure. I had trauma in my past, you know, most people who struggle with food and weight do I had sexual abuse as, you know, as a kid, for sure, from a relative, not a good experience and you know, will definitely mess you up, but it's never one thing. So, you know, people are always like, you know, what was the one thing what's the trauma, you know, but my experience is it's really a web of things. 

And so, you know, my home life was fairly dysfunctional and, and, you know, including obviously sexual abuse, which we all had our own version of trauma and not from my parents by the grace of God. But, but anyway, we had, we, there was, you know, between my sisters and me, we had sexual abuse. And so, I mean, we each experienced it, but the bottom line is it's never just one thing. And so what happens when you're in a home where there aren't good coping tools, it's sorta like stuff it, in some way, you know, anger was never expressed. 

It was just sort of suffused. And that came out at sarcasm sort of stuff. Like we all had stuff, you know, without the right tools. And so my experience is what happens for emotional eaters is whatever our experiences as kids and you don't have to have had some terrible trauma either, you know, but what happens is we definitely grow up with coping tools that aren't healthy. You know, they work at the time, you know, as a kid, you don't have a lot of access to healthy tools. You know, nobody's talking about feelings, nobody's helping you process feelings, you know? 

And so you just kind of do what you can to get by. And what was once a survival skill, you know, as an adult becomes a very dysfunctional way of being. And so in, in my experience with emotional eaters in my 30 plus years of research is that we have, we were all pretty similar. And so I, at some point created and identified 24, like this, the system of 24 personality traits that make up the emotional eaters personality and why this is so important is it takes somebody off the focus of food and onto how they're showing up in life. 

You know, because it's really often what I say is it's really not an eating problem, as much as it is a living problem. 

Speaker 3 (29m 21s): I love that. That's so good. That's such a good, good medicine right there for people's cars. 

Speaker 1 (29m 29s): It really is. And, and it's, you know, what, if we start looking at, you know, how we're living and making changes there, it will completely inform our choices with food. And I, I, I, that, I see that I teach that and I do that because I'm not cured. I'm still an emotional eater, but, you know, by the grace of God, I'm still, I'm daily, you know, pretty healthy around food because of the practices and the actions I'm taking. So I'm still, you know, every day doing what I, you know, practicing what I preach so that I can stay healthy, you know, and, and that it's, but it's the living stuff I'm really focusing on. 

It's not, I'm not controlling food or weight. I'm, I'm, I'm working on the inside, you know, working on the stuff on the inside and that's totally affecting and impacting my relationship with food. 

Speaker 3 (30m 21s): Mm. So good. That must've been hard work. Cause I know that inside work is the hardest work and you have to be so bold and courageous to do that kind of work 

Speaker 1 (30m 36s): Well, it's true. And my clients are super bold and courageous, but we do it in community. So nobody's alone with it. And as I said, I take a lot of the guesswork out by naming the main, you know, trouble spots for people like it's, you know, you could actually create a mold for emotional eaters, put all emotional eaters in the mold and not a single hair would have hangout, you know, because it's like, we're so similar. And we all think we're the only ones who've done. 

The crazy, crazy things we've done with food. We think that we're the only ones who've, you know, done the crazy things around our weight or whatever. And we're just so similar, but our emotions are so similar too. So I just take the guesswork out. I'm like, here are the 24 traits, let's start working there. You know, let's start doing these six self-care secrets, you know, and, and put those into our lives so we can bring down our stress level, have more emotional balance, you know, and not need food for coping anymore. You know, obviously we need food for nourishment, but not as every, for every bit of stress that we have in our lives. 

Speaker 3 (31m 41s): So I've got, I've got a situation that I'm going to share with you that just had, had occurred to me personally three days ago, Sunday, or maybe even, no, it was Sunday. No, it was Saturday. So tell me what I could have done to stop this from happening, just so that people could learn because I'm, Hey, I'm very teachable. And I love keeping on learning until my last breath. So here was, I caught this flu thing, you know, and I am very strong and pretty healthy. 

You know, I, I've got a strong body and I make sure that it's very healthy, but I've got this virus that's just in my back and you just feel achy and just tired and stuff. And I don't like taking anti inflammatories cause I know what it does to your gut. So anyway, I was just hanging out, hanging in there, hanging in there, trying to deal with the pain, not drinking alcohol, not drinking wine. I was just, but I was in front of the TV, my husband and I were watching, oh, this great Netflix called hashtag stay here. 

And it was, you know, staying in all these amazing rentals around the world. And all of a sudden, I just felt so terrible that I just got the dates that we have raw dates. And I just put the jar right through front and dates are sugar, everybody just so you know, just because it's a date, don't think that it's not sugar. Cause your body's still sees it as sugar. Your body's still pump out the insulin to bring down the level. I ate a ho like I must have eaten 50 dates and then yeah. 

Wow. And then halfway, halfway through the dates, I was like, oh no, what? I kind of like woke up and I kind of go, oh no, I got to put some fat with it. So I got the organic peanut butter and I was dipping, you know, just so I wouldn't shoot up that fun. So what, and I still think about like, I can't believe I did that to my poor body. So what, what would you have done to, what, what coping skill would you have put into place? Like it's about now you remember you can do this. 

Yeah. 

Speaker 1 (33m 54s): Well it's hard, you know, I find feeling bad physically to be re really triggering because you feel so bad and you it's easy to drop into self-pity too. Like I want everybody to know how crappy I feel, you know? So, so it can, it can be really triggering and it can be a time where you definitely want to comfort yourself for sure. You know? And so, I mean, I think first of all, talking about it is really good. Like vocalizing that you feel bad telling your husband that you feel bad, you know, not telling everybody, but telling, you know, the person you love and is closest to you that you don't feel well. 

So getting a little comfort is a good thing when you don't feel well. But anything that snacky, like any food that snacky is going to be dangerous okay. At the wrong time. Right. And so having a jar of dates, you know, can be like, for me, it's be hard because it's hard to know, like, it's, it's so easy to be unconscious with snacky foods, things where you put your hand in the container, when you put your in a container and you take one out and combine that with watching TV, very bad combination because it's very, you just in the unconscious habits. 

So, you know, at least what I would say is if you're going to have some dates, pick how many you want to have and put it in a little bowl, you know, and then have that be it. So at least kind of like, make it, make it a thing. If that's what you want. Fine. Put it on a plate, put it in a bowl, make it count. Because when we eat out of a box or a bag, it's almost like it's not happening. It's sort of like eating on an airplane. Right. Like it's sort like what does happen there? I don't know. 

So if you, at least I used to think like when I eat or binge on an airplane, it didn't count. Cause I was in the air, you know, boy was I wrong? So anyway, so we can trick ourselves so easily. Right. So, so putting on a player or in a bowl at least is like making it a thing so that, you know, that you've eaten it, like, cause you have evidence that it was on a plate. Right. So that can help for sure. But generally snacking is going to be dangerous for an emotional eater because snacky foods are generally really fattening foods. 

Okay. So when we snack, we're generally snacking on chips or nuts or candies or you know, or a healthy version of any, you know, any candy like dates and I've done lots of damage with healthy foods. Let me tell you nuts. I mean, that's what the cashews are the worst, you know? So, so it's, it's really tricky, but the more you stick to three meals, like I do find, I call it three meal magic. I do, I, what works best for me is three meals with nothing in between, because then it's clear once, you know, what's my food and what's not my food. 

So if I go to a store and they're giving out samples of food, which they haven't done lately because of COVID, but you know, when they were giving out samples or I'm at a party and they're giving out hors d'oeuvres or something, it's just, I just stick to the meal, you know, sticking the meal, just puts a little boundary around it and makes it a lot easier. So that's, that's, those are some things that I think would be super helpful. And also just when you feel crappy, just go to sleep, you know, don't keep suffering, just kind of put yourself to bed or take a bath or kind of nurture yourself in some way, you know? 

And, and so that you don't use food. Great 

Speaker 3 (37m 33s): Advice, Tricia, thank you so much. I will definitely implement that next time or mixed my circle. That mountain. I wanted to ask you one other question, but I also do, you know, Joyce Meyer, are you familiar with DRI? Yeah. So she's a good teacher, isn't she? Yeah. She's really helped me out a lot. So the number, what's the number one weight loss mistake you should never make. 

Speaker 1 (37m 58s): That would be not eating. Okay. So skipping meals, as I said, I'm a big proponent of not eating between meals, but I'm a big promote proponent of meals. Okay. So emotional eaters tend to think that if they skip a meal, they're going to hack the system, you know, and they're going to lose weight. And all it does is backfire. Like it never works out like, cause then we get too hungry and we eat too much later. You know, that's why intermittent fasting can, is tricky for emotional eaters, you know, on paper. It's a great plan for longevity, for stem, cell regeneration, all kinds of things, but for an emotional eater who alarm, you know, alarms go off when they get too hungry, you know, and then can go overboard with overeating for a lot of people, you know, if you skip a meal or you just deprive yourself of regular food, your body's going to get pissed off, you know, and it's going to, it's going to get that food. 

That's gonna, you know, you're not going to have the control you want, you know, it's going to say, Hey, we're getting fed now. You know, whether you like it or not. So it can be really tricky, you know, skipping meals, you know, working through a meal, like, ah, I've got, I'm doing so well and making all these sales calls, I'm just going to blow off eating lunch and then I'll lose weight. It never works out. You just end up compensating and then some at dinner time or at night, you know, so just treat yourself like you would treat your, your sweet little daughter, you know, just think of your sweet little daughter. 

What would you say to her? Hey, no lunch for you. You're gonna, you know, slim down. No, you'd never say 

Speaker 3 (39m 33s): I know, but we say that to ourselves. 

Speaker 1 (39m 36s): Ah, so harsh, you know, so just think of yourself as a sweet little girl. And how would you talk to her? What, how, of course you'd feed her three meals. Of course you'd want to make sure she gets breakfast, lunch and dinner, you know, and just think of yourself that way. Cause that's what we are. We're sweet and we're tender and we deserve to be treated with that same care. Hey 

Speaker 3 (39m 57s): Man. So true. So, so true self care is so important. Thank you. That was really good. I wanted to ask, what do you know? I'm, I'm landing this plane now. So what three action steps would you give to our listeners so that they've got a quick win? 

Speaker 1 (40m 19s): Yeah, I would, first of all, encouraged people to slow down. So even though the pandemic did a good job of slowing us down, we were pretty good at ramping up again, you know? And so just sort of on the topic of self care, you know, just give yourself some time in the morning to feed the poor. I call it putting money in the spiritual bank account, like have a morning ritual where you can nourish your soul because we're rarely really hungry for chocolate, you know, or dates or whatever. 

We're really hungry for something deeper. And so we have to feed ourselves in the morning, you know, put money in the spiritual bank account that you can draw on later in the day when you're tired, you're worn out, you're feeling a little discouraged, you know? So meditation, prayer, spiritual readings, things that can just fortify you and help you feel like you've, you've been fed, you know? And then later in the day you won't be so hungry. So that's one thing kind of slowing down and taking time for yourself. 

First thing in the morning, really, really important also, you know, get support. You know, we often think usually emotional leaders, you know, do this to themselves. I think, oh, I should be able to do this on my own. I should be able to, you know, figure this out. It's only a cookie after all, you know, what's the big deal. But the fact is food is like the hardest of all addictions to overcome, you know, because you have to eat, you know, and I often often say you have to take the tiger out of the cage, you know, three times a day, pet the kitty and then put it back in the cage without it tearing your butt off. 

Okay. So, you know, that's not easy to do, you know, alcoholics can put the plug in the jug, but we can't do that. And so it's all the more reason why we need support, you know, plus everybody's pushing it. You know, it's not, it's not like drugs, you know, everybody's pushing it and pushing sugar. And so get support, get with your, you know, a community of emotional eaters who know what it's like to be powerless over a cookie. And that's why all my programs are in group, because there's so much support that can make people stop feeling like they're so strange or different because they can't control what they eat. 

It's such a common experience, you know? And if you have it, you're not strange or different. Like there's so many people out there who are struggling, but we all tell ourselves we should be able to do this on our own. Like why? Like it's close to impossible. Why put yourself through that? It's so much easier when we share it and we get support, you know, so much easier. And then the last thing I would say is, you know, try the three meal, magic plan, three meals with nothing in between. Like try it for a few days. The very least you'll get really hip to how many of your choices are emotionally driven. 

Cause you'll just out of habit, want to go eat something and if it's not mealtime, you'll be like, wait, what's going on here? You know? And then, and you can take the pep test even it's kind of take a, take a look at what's going on. So yeah. So those are three things I would recommend. 

Speaker 3 (43m 25s): Yeah. I love it. You've given us some great tools. Thanks so much. And I love the fact that you work with community, you know, in community because we're not supposed to be living life on our own. We grow, we grow with others and I love that. And that's, that was one of the problems with the pandemic is people felt very, very isolated and all that 

Speaker 1 (43m 45s): Much. So absolutely. 

Speaker 3 (43m 47s): Now you did say that you had some things you wanted to share with people that were that like a free gift and where they can see you. And this will all be in the show notes. I promise. 

Speaker 1 (44m 2s): Great. Yeah. I would say start with the quiz, like find out where you are on the emotional eating spectrum and that's at my website, heal your hunger.com and take the quiz, you know, find out and then you'll get, you know, some suggestions on where to go from there, but that's always a good place to start. Also, my book is on Amazon. It's heal your hunger, seven simple steps to end emotional eating. Now I do, as you said, have a podcast called the heal, your hunger show. And I talk a about my personal experience in life because after all it is a living problem, not an eating problem. 

So I talk a lot about that. Living, you know how to live in a way that you don't have, you don't have to be, you know, run into food for support. And then I'm on Instagram too at Trisha Nelson underscore at the end of the end in Nelson. 

Speaker 3 (44m 52s): Yes. I see that. Okay, good. Now the book, I'm sorry, I don't have the what's the book it's called. 

Speaker 1 (44m 59s): It's called heal your hunger. Everything's heal your hunger, 

Speaker 3 (45m 2s): Your hunger. I love that. Yeah, Amazon. Okay, cool. I'll make sure that that's all in the show notes because that's how we do it. Okay. Well that is a wrap. Thank you so much for joining us. That really helped me. Next time. I'm wanting to sit with some food. I've got this coconut ice cream that they sell here in New Zealand. It's amazing. And it comes, it comes in a tub like this big. Oh, that's about right for me. 

Speaker 2 (45m 36s): And I'll know not to bring it in front of the TV. And so after a while it's like having a bag your hand in a bag of potato chips. You're like, whoa, what? Just stick to the ball. Yeah. Stick with the bowl. I love it. Thank you so much. God bless you. Thank you for joining us. You are such a blessing back at you. It's been really fun. I love your spirit. So thanks for having me. Thank you for everyone. Joining us here at the end chef. Hey, it's all about becoming unstoppable. 

Speaker 4 (46m 14s): Hello, chef Michael here. If you enjoyed today's episode, we would love it. If you subscribe to the podcast and left us a review.